Damaged Hero
by Giantpanda
Summary: Sayid’s thoughts during the kiss in …In Translation.


TITLE: Damaged Hero  
RATING: PG  
SUMMARY: Sayid's thoughts during the kiss in …In Translation.  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from Lost and am not making a profit. If they were mine, then there would be more Shayid moments.

Thanks mrstater for all you done to push me to write more and for editing this story!

Sayid stood rigid watching the flames of the fire dance in front of him. The day's events flashed through his mind. It had started with teasing Shannon about becoming the island spinster, and her retaliating with images of them alone with rope. He had felt as if a weight had been lifted off him as they bantered back and forth. Her smile had lit up her entire face and he had hopped that she would continue to smile like that. There was this innocence about her when she smiled and he wished to protect her. He hadn't expected her words about the rope, and a small smile tugged at his lips as he thought about it again. No one had ever spoken to him like that before, and a part of him was ashamed to admit that he had enjoyed it. 

Then he had made the poor decision to talk with Boone, informing him of the possibility of his relationship with Shannon progressing beyond friendship. Boone had told him Shannon was using him, and foolishly Sayid had believed him. All of the previous thoughts and emotions that had swirled inside of him during his encounter with Shannon evaporated at Boone's words. He began to question the conversation, dissecting it word by word as if he could find a clue as to her true motivation.

The thoughts lingered in his mind as she called on him to help her tie down the tarp. The next image burned into his brain was the look on her face as she realized that he had spoken with Boone and that he had believed him. The hurt look lingered even as he closed his eyes. 

He should have realized that she would be hurt, she was more delicate then she liked others to believe. He wondered what had happened in her life that could have damaged her so deeply. He would have asked, but then he would have had to share his own past and that was not something he was ready or willing to do.

He sighed, his shoulders sagging under the weight of that one look. He knew that he should not have believed Boone, not without conversing first with Shannon, but in his mind Boone's words made sense. Why else would Shannon be with him if not because she was using him? He hated to admit that the thought had crossed his mind previously. He did not understand how such a lovely young lady would be interested in spending her time with a former solder, especially with all that he had done, all the horrors he had committed.

The doubts he held he realized were not simply because of the atrocities he had seen and committed; he worried as well that he would never be able to care for her the way she was used to. He knew that she came from a privileged life, something he could not begin to understand. He had nothing, and she was used to having everything. Their worlds were completely different.

As the flames flickered and cast shadows all around, he questioned when he'd begun to want to spend time with Shannon for reasons other than her French skills. She made him feel something he thought he'd buried long ago. He had forgotten what he felt like to smile or to simply just relax -- two things he had begun to do more when she was around. It was not possible to be a soldier and to feeling anything -- he had learned that quickly -- but she was changing that. She gave him hope. She looked at him as if he were a hero, and it was nice to have someone regard him that way; although, he dreaded the thought of her knowing a hero was the last thing he deserved to be called.

He had seen the pain in her eyes, and he knew that she was upset with him or maybe it was even deeper than that. He wondered briefly if maybe she had felt more for him then she let on. He realized that it did not matter because, he had probably destroyed any chance of building upon their friendship now, and the thought hurt. He tried to push it away, but it kept coming back. He hoped that he would at least have the opportunity to apologize for the way that he had treated her.

At first he was surprised to see her striding purposely toward him as if she needed to tell him something. He turned quickly to face her.

Sayid searched her face for answers, expecting that maybe she had come to tell him off for listening to Boone instead of letting her explain. He watched as different emotions played across her face and couldn't help but think how beautiful she looked with the fire casting a glow around her.

She took a step forward and placed her hand against his face. He was pleasantly surprised to feel her lips against his in a gentle kiss. It did not last long, but he wished for more. She leaned her forehead against his for a moment before they broke apart. They still stood close, her hands resting against his arms.

The look in her eyes told him that she was anxious about his reaction.

He took a deep breath. "What was that for?" he asked softly.

"Everyone gets a new life on this island." She hesitated, then added, "I'd like to start now."

He could hear the tears in her voice and wondered what had led her to make that decision. He had thought he had lost her and she had returned to ask him to start a new life with her. She smiled nervously at him as she waited for a response.

She was so beautiful smiling at him, so trusting that he would not hurt her again. He wanted to believe that a new life was possible. It sounded like such a lovely and naïve idea. He wondered if after everything he had done he could find a new life, if he could heal his damaged soul. Her smile faltered as she waited for a response.

He realized then that he was ready for a new life, especially if she was going to be in it. Maybe they would both be able to heal the other. He reached out to her and caressed her face. The nervousness left her face and she relaxed against him.

He was ready to start his new life. A life with her, a thought which thrilled and scared him at the same time.

The End


End file.
